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Literature
WRITING ADVICE: Pattern Recognition
"Look," Alex said furtively to Patty, as the teacher droned on. "Who are you going to take to the dance?"
"Don't know," Patty shrugged, twirling a pencil between her fingers thoughtfully. "Haven't decided who to ask yet."
"Well, I hear the janitor's free," Carlos said from behind her, smirking malevolently. "You could always ask him."
"Ahahahaha," Patty laughed in a forced-sounding way.
One common mistake writers make is falling into patterns. The story that inspired this kept writing dialogue the same way every time.
"First part of whatever is being said," character said adverbly, as they and/or someone else did several different things. "Second part of statement."
This would not have been so bad if they didn't over-write, if they had just stuck to the meat-and-potatoes version;
Character did something indicating their emotions. "First part of whatever is being said," character said. "Second part of statement."
Or if they had mixed it up a little. The meat-and-potato
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Juliet Whiskey 09 spoilers On TVTropes by Jon-Wood Juliet Whiskey 09 spoilers On TVTropes :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 1 0 XCOM+MCU: FERRIS: Army Men Chapter Banner by Jon-Wood XCOM+MCU: FERRIS: Army Men Chapter Banner :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 2 0
Literature
Writing Advice: Verbing adverbly
"You know what I hate?" u63r said angrily.
"No. What do you hate?" Alex queried curiously.
"Said bookisms," u63r answered peevishly.
"Said bookisms?" Alex parroted quizzically, scratching their gender-indeterminate head.
"Said bookisms," u63r confirmed, nodding. "It's like the writer is afraid to just say words like 'said' or 'asked'. And it just ends up being intrusive."
"Hold up," Alex interrupted, raising a hand. "Was there something specific that set this off?"
"Yeah, this one fanfic," u63r admitted. "Not only that, but he combined it with that redundant narration I mentioned earlier, where the dialogue 'tags' tell us information we already got from the dialogue. If the prior speaker is cut off, *of course* the next person who speaks interrupted."
"Do you think 'asked' is an example?" Alex 
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Libelle LDS-63 modeling by Jon-Wood Libelle LDS-63 modeling :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 10 0 Juliet Whiskey 08 - heat Of The Moment by Jon-Wood Juliet Whiskey 08 - heat Of The Moment :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 1 0 [eBook Cover] Tiny Jones and the Woman In Black by Jon-Wood [eBook Cover] Tiny Jones and the Woman In Black :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 1 0
Literature
Writing Advice:How not to write group dialogue
"All right, team, let's huddle," Dad said.
They huddled, made their voices low and quiet.
"Junior, you keep him busy, keep him distracted," Mom said, as one hand fiddled with her pearl necklace.
"Got it," the elder son said.
"Gladys, beans and macaroni and sausage for dinner. When it's time for bed, read him a story," Dad said.
"Right." Grandma nodded.
"I get to stay up watching television, and I get two deserts," Junior said.
"One desert," Dad said.
"One and a half deserts," Junior said.
"This is not a negotiation." Dad pulled back the cuff of his suit, and said "We have to be there in...twenty minutes."
"So...What you're saying is that you don't have time to argue," Grandma said.
Her daughter rolled her eyes. "Don't take his side, Mom. You're not the one who has to deal with him when he's bouncing off the walls," she said.
"You know that's a myth, right? Sugar doesn't really make kids hyper," Junior said.
"Quiet, you," Dad said
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sword Woman by Jon-Wood sword Woman :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 8 0 Style Test 20170306 by Jon-Wood Style Test 20170306 :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 2 0 FERRIS Tactical-ish Squirrel Girl concept by Jon-Wood FERRIS Tactical-ish Squirrel Girl concept :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 9 0 Ferris29TitleCard headband large by Jon-Wood Ferris29TitleCard headband large :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 2 0
Literature
Writing Advice: Shut out shout-outs
Due to the subject matter, I included a larger-than-usual number of references in this one, just for fun. You probably won't find all eight, unless you happen to watch a certain podcast about a certain red-masked superhero and his nubile ginger sidekick partner.
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Okay, so you're watching the latest Game of Thrones episode. There's tension, there's shouting, it's very dramatic, you're on the edge of your seat. What next? you think, shoveling popcorn into your mouth.
And suddenly the characters start acting out the "What?" scene from Pulp Fiction.
Your hand stops. Your brow furrows. You mouth hangs open.
This doesn't make sense. The writers just...gave up. They made no real effort to integrate the reference into Westeros. Where'd that paper bag come from? Why is the Mother of Dragons is pulling a Big Belly Burger out of it? What is this?
I'll tell you what this is. Your hypothetical self has just encountered a
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FERRIS Iron Man Suitcase Suit Helmet by Jon-Wood FERRIS Iron Man Suitcase Suit Helmet :iconjon-wood:Jon-Wood 2 0
Literature
Writing Advice: Cause and Effect
Have you ever watched a movie? A TV show? Animation? Literally anything with a narrative?
...Yes?
Great, so you've seen a reaction shot. When someone says or does something, and they cut to someone else looking shocked, or surprised, or happy.
And?
Didja ever see one that had "in response to what  said" on the screen?
No?
Great. So why do you do it when you write?
If someone reads
Alex looked grim ."The President...has been hit with a pie."
Bobbie gasped. then it's pretty clear that Bobbie's gasping at the news, not, say, Alex's tie. You don't have to write
Alex looked grim ."The President...has been hit with a pie."
Bobbie gasped at Alex's words. In fact, the first version is so clear that you can play with it for comedy;
Alex looked grim ."The President...has been hit with a pie."
Bobbie gasped. "Alex, your tie is hideous!" she said. (In case you're wondering, the relevant TVTropes page is "Comically Missing the Point".)
Did you watch the first
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Literature
Writing Tips: How not to write spookedness
Earlier, I kvetched about first-person stories that are really just third-person stories with pronouns changed, where the POV character sounds suspiciously like a writer.
I've noticed this problem a few times on /r/noSleep, and I happened to stumble across a highly recommended story that's supposedly written by a private investigator. Now, the stories on NoSleep are fake. Everyone knows they're fake. But when a detective is on a stakeout for some sort of late-night creepy stuff, it's quite possible to oversell it.
I head off to his place that night and park my car on his street in a location in which I can see his front door and the gate leading into his backyard. I set up my camera and turn on a podcast. Since I have to be there before he goes to sleep to ensure I don't miss it (it's possible that they could arrive before 4:00) I'm out there for around six hours w
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Jon-Wood
Jonathan Wood
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:iconflowerpowerstock:
flowerpowerstock Featured By Owner Mar 22, 2017
Thanks for the Thanks for the Fav 
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:iconstefanbehringer:
StefanBehringer Featured By Owner May 18, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for the fav!
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:iconchibi-writer:
Chibi-Writer Featured By Owner Jul 10, 2013
:icondashomgplz: You are now 20% cooler for joining Humanized-MLP! :icondashomgplz:
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:iconxiron:
xiron Featured By Owner Feb 7, 2013
thx
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:iconjoshmanfree:
Joshmanfree Featured By Owner Oct 6, 2012  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
I love your take on the social justice sallies on tumblr.
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:iconcometbunny:
COMETBUNNY Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012
Thank you so much for the watch~
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:iconjon-wood:
Jon-Wood Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012  Professional Digital Artist
Actually, I had you Watched as Kittypaint, and just found you again through tumblr. (I'm badWasabi).
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:iconcometbunny:
COMETBUNNY Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2012
Ohhh` Hello there`
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